I Rest Assured

I run my fingers through my curls, scratching my scalp, something feels different. I look in my hairbrush, so that's where all of you go now! I glance in the mirror, clothes once tight, hang loose on my hips and shoulders. It's okay- I'll just throw a sweatshirt on. I grab some ibuprofen...more headaches, more backaches. Where is the medicine for the heartache? Maybe some extra blush will add some color to my face. If only I could paint on a permanent smile. Another run to the bathroom, another knock on a friend's door. I can't do this alone. Another hug, another verse whispered, "You can do this, Kate! You are so strong!"
The physical effects of heart ache. 

I sit in the library, "You are rejected. You were abandoned. You were fooled. You were just a piece in a game. You will never find another like him (Maybe that's a good thing...). You think this is worth it? Worth, what? Nobody even cares about you. You are invisible. You will never be loved again.You think it's getting better? You can't fight this battle. Wouldn't it be easier...wouldn't it be easier if just weren't here anymore? Leave, leave this life. Is this the life you prayed for?
The emotional effects of spiritual warfare. 

I quickly pack up my bookbag and race out of the library. Away from the lies. Away from the darkness hovering over me. Autumn leaves swirl around my boots, tears sting my eyes, I just want to rest. Give me joy, Lord. Give me joy through the sorrow. A squirrel scurries across the pavement, the sun warms my body, an upperclassmen girl walks up. "Can I pray for you, right now?" Yes, yes- please. We bow our heads, students pass us, hurrying to class. Taking a moment, we give it to the Lord. "You will get through this, the Lord has you here for a reason...the plans are so much greater than just this temporary pain."
The effects of the body of Christ coming together when one is mourning. 

 Thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness! I rest assured that You are restoring me, You are refining me, You are healing me, You are preparing me, You are strengthening me, You are using me, You are growing me, You are healing me, You are creating a masterpiece...a beautiful design, a beautiful life, and a beautiful story for me to tell someday.