Drowning in Lies

I've never struggled with suicidal thoughts before, but this week Satan has begun to speak lies into my head. I'll be sitting in class, laying in bed, walking to dinner etc. and the sting of pain hits me so hard I feel like I can't breathe. Then that nasty little voice begins speaking..."It's not worth it anymore. Who you loved the most has turned his back on you...you are rejected. You are abandoned. The plans God for you? You are willing to go through this kind of pain? End it, Kaitlin. End this painful life, the plans are not worth it."
I hate, I repeat, I HATE when Satan lets his slithering, lying tongue even get near to my ears. I rebuke him in Christ's name! But it's a battle! I will not listen to the evil one. God told me last year at my high school revivals, in a moment of pure worship, "Kaitlin, you will do great things." God consistently reminds me of this promise...He reminds me through a professor who write that on my essay, through friends who have barely known me, He reminds me by letting my heart hear His voice...and what He has promised me. I don't know exactly what great things He has in store for my life, but I know that it won't even be able to compare to the pain of this trial.
This spiritual battle is so, so real. I see Satan at work in all of this...but I also see God moving and providing...I hear His quiet voice filled with strength, "Cast your fears upon me" "Do not fear" "Have faith" "I have great things in store for you, my dear daughter". Every single day is a struggle. The moment I wake up, I feel the spiritual warfare. I feel the heaviness...I feel the temptations...I hear the lies...I am experiencing the brokenness of this world... I will not let Satan have victory. I may be over my head, I may be drowning in a swirling sea of pain, hurt, rejection, and lies, but God is saving me. I will get through this.
YOU ARE STRONGER, YOU ARE STRONGER, SIN IS BROKEN, YOU HAVE SAVED ME. IT IS WRITTEN, CHRIST IS RISEN. JESUS YOU ARE LORD OF ALL